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Friday, September 30, 2011

Passion/ Quitting

Hello All,

So I have been thinking lately about passion. About my passion specifically.Theatre. Singing. The stage. You know whats funny? I cannot think of one specific reason why I want to do it. But I CAN think of thousands of reasons why I shouldn't. I'm sure my parents would be much happier if I went into my second career choice of nursing. I can think of a thousand reasons as to why I should do that. I would be financially stable. The medical field is fascinating to me. I love to help people. I have a maternal nature, so I would be great with patients. But the big question is... would it make be truly happy? I am thinking the answer to that is probably no. Sure, I would be happy... but there would always be something missing from my life. Always. At least if I never really went for theatre. If I fail and need to go into nursing then that's another story. But if I never really go for it? I would always be wondering, what if? I could quit if I wanted to. It would be simple. Go through the steps and get into Nursing school. A lot of programs even pay for your school.

Theatre is one of the hardest careers to get into. It's not just about talent. It's about selling yourself and being willing to completely let go. To let somebody else in completely so that they can feel what your feeling. That feeling of being on stage is unbeatable. The smell of the saw dust and the sweat and the stage makeup is amazing. I can't wait to be on stage again. I can feel it. It's close hopefully. It's a high like none other. I have no idea why anybody would do drugs if they have a passion. Passion is what drives us. It's what makes us who we are. If you don't have passion then you're living life without a heart. You're a walking flat-line. 

I have an audition on Sunday. I am really excited. I am singing a song that is very different from anything I have ever done before. It's a big number and I'm nervous. BUT, for the shows I am trying out for, I have to come in with the big guns. I need them to notice me big time because the shows require big voices AND they don't know me at this particular theatre. So cross your fingers for me! At 8 pm on Sunday, I will be there and hopefully impressing some directors!

Until next time my friends.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dancing/Stumbling through life

Hello All, 

So the last few weeks have not been ideal. Once again, I have been very busy and my computer is also officially out of order until further notice, all making posting on my blog harder. HOWEVER, I will not be absent this long from now on. I really do love this blog and I appreciate all of you guys very much! So, for those reasons, I will be posting much more often. 

The last few weeks have consisted of my car officially dying, my computer crashing, fixing my computer all by myself (just for it to get a crazy virus and not work now), personal emotional issues and somehow managing to inconvenience/anger people that I love. I even had poison ivy in there as well! I have been having a hard time figuring out what I want to say in the entry because I haven't had the best time lately and don't want to just unload on here. But I am not going to do that. Although my past few weeks haven't been great, I don't want to bring other people down because of that. I don't want to bring myself down either. We ALL have bad weeks. When it rains, it pours! 

As I a sitting here writing, I started thinking about all of the good things in my life. I have a little brother who is starting kindergarten today and I am very proud of him! I have four beautiful little siblings, who are all very different and wonderful in their own ways. I have family that loves me and two jobs (when some people don't have any). I have a guitar that I can play whenever I want. I already have a car that I will be buying from a friend and I am just waiting until she gets a new car. I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. My friends are wonderful and supportive. I have even been dating this great guy lately and I am hoping that it keeps going in the right direction. 

We can spend all day looking at what we don't like about our lives or ourselves. I mean, the whole point of me having this blog was to change something about myself that I don't like! Although, living life like that isn't ideal. Who wants to look at all of the negative things. We would all have panic attacks left and right! The point is, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade!! Even if life is chucking them at your head! 

As far as my weight goes, I have only lost a couple more pounds and am officially behind. But, for the last few days, I have been getting back on track. I wasn't eating as much and got down to eating one meal a day again because I was so busy with work. I am back to the regular diet again,however, and should start seeing results soon! 

"We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams."

As for now, I am going to go and enjoy the sound of the rain outside. I hope everyone has a great day! 

Until next time, my friends.

PS- That audition went REALLY well. Hoping I hear something! It could be a while. It was for about twelve different theaters in the area and they are probably casting for the spring. Cross your fingers!