Lately I have been thinking about taking risks and overcoming fears. I was talking to my dad this morning and he mentioned that one of my fears is putting my weight out there. However, when I really think about it... there is so much more to what he is saying. I am not saying that there are hidden meanings behind what he is saying; I just believe that is not my only issue. When I really look at myself, I am scared and terrified of responsibility, being an adult, telling people my weight for fear of not being accepted, putting myself out there emotionally because its easier to act like everything is okay and the list goes on and on. Everyone has fear. It's human nature. But we can't let that fear define us.
I believe that some of my fears have defined me. I can't fully be myself around people if I am hiding myself from others. I have definitely gotten over some things. I used to be really shy and I didn't like to be put in social situations where I didn't know at least one person. I have come out of that box a lot more in the past year and a half or so and I think that has made me a more appealing person. I enjoy putting my opinion out there and speaking my mind. These are things that I didn't like to do before because I, once again, was afraid of being accepted. I don't want fear to take over my life. Life is scary, but if you don't take risks and do things you don't want every once in a while, then life will just pass you by. I have a lot of issues going on in my life right now and if I don't accept them as problems, then they won't be fixed. Acceptance comes first and then figuring out how to fix them. I think that my issue is that I don't know how to fix most of my problems and that's why I am scared to face them head on. I am the kind of person who needs to know the resolution to be able to face something. However, losing weight is a step in the right direction. I hope that I can eventually figure out everything else along the way.
So here is to facing out fears! My weight when I first started this blog was 301.8. I just weighed myself two minutes ago and it is now 296.9. I am down 4.9 pounds! From now on I will be posting my weight on the blog. I hope no one judges me based on my weight! I do think that putting out there how much I weigh, however, will give me more incentive to bring the number down! As Eleanor Roosevelt said:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "
Yet another wonderful quote to live by.
Until next time, my friends.